Fuck appropriateness.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
