im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i will never coherently bang her
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize