i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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