Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
im six kinds of drunk right now
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And then my night got REAL pukey
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
