idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
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I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
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Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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