In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
