Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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