So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
