what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
