i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
