nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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