I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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