you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
