Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize