oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Randomize
