he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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