Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
BRING THE BAGELS
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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