I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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