I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
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She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
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Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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