So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
