We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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