If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
