it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
