So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
