I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize