I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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