I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
