she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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