Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
