I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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