dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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