My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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