i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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