i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize