White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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