i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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