Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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