yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
