mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
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You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
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I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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