dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
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Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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