he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
