Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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