Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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