I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize