Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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