there's paper in my vomit.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
