problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
