No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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