I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize