How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
