I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
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