Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
