So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
