You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Small penises have feelings too.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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