Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
