drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it's like iHOP with fire
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
