Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
