I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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