No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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