You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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