If i come over, it means nothing
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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